My life in a blaze...

I haven't really been blogging a lot lately coz there's nothing really to blog about. Been kind of nervous to start on my ARVs but I wouldn't be starting it till maybe 2 week from now. The doctor said that I still have to go through 3 ARV counseling sessions before they give them to me. I kinda understand why coz taking ARVs is no joke. I really have to stick to the schedule, and I've never really been good at that. 


My parents have been the best during these trying times. I feel bad that they are also carrying this burden with me, I wish that we don't have anything to carry at all. It did brought us closer so I guess that's a blessing.


My health? I don't actually know what my state is right now. My strength is back but I developed Acid re-flux which is bad since it hinders me from eating and drinking so much. Swallowing is a pain. Been sleeping upright, since it helps relieve me of the pain.


Been thinking about dating and all the "I don't knows" that it would bring. It's just so scary since what if I actually found someone that I really like, I would eventually HAVE to tell him about my situation. 


Well I guess that's it for now, I kinda forced myself to write this since there is really nothing to write about. Let's see after tomorrow, my 2nd ARV counseling session.

ARV Counseling day 1

So I thought that I was supposed to get my ARVs today and have a start on them, but I guess I was mistaken. My first clinic was supposed to be San Lazaro, but even though I liked my doctor there (Doc Torres), we were advised by the doc who diagnosed me (Doc Chua of FEU) that we should transfer to RITM in Alabang. So we left the house at 5am so to avoid the traffic and so that I would still be able to go to the office. I initially told my parents that we should get my docs (cd4 results) from San Lazaro, but they told me that everything is fine and that the doc in RITM would know what to do. So after getting lost in Alabang (I actually thought we'd end up in Tagaytay), we (my parents and I) finally got to RITM.

It seemed like a real nice place, not crowded and far from the city. When we got to the HIV clinic, we were told that I had to have my cd4 taken again and wait till 2:30pm. When we told them that I already took it, they told us that we should have gotten documentation. Clearly I was pissed. So while waiting for my cd4 test, we decided to just go to San Lazaro and treat the 1st part of the day as if it never happened.

When we got to San Lazaro, it was already past 11am. There was a guy in a wheelchair and a big guy who was carrying a pistol with him in the clinic. I think the guy in the wheelchair was an infected inmate. Makes you realize that literally ANYONE can get the virus.

After my name was called (initially my dad accidentally gave out my real nickname, but good thing they allowed me to change it to Aqua), we got to talk to my doc, Dr. Torres. He's a very nice and patient doctor that's why I like him, he doesn't seem to mind when I have tantrums. He explained to us that today was a first of 3 ARV counseling sessions and I would get to start my ARVs after the 3rd one. Frustrating... I know. It was a good talk though. my parents got a better idea of what's going on and at least I wouldn't have to worry about getting side-effects for the next 3 weeks or so. Dr. Torres also gave me a list of foods that i would need to avoid while taking the ARVs... There were A LOT!

For now... We wait. Still debating whether I would need to tell my manager about my condition. Having this sickness calls for a lot of check up sessions with my doc and possible sick days...

Oh well...

Take a dive with me...

Second chances... 


Who would have thought that I would be able to get my biggest second chance in my life? Last November 2012, I got diagnosed with Pneumonia, got healed and got back on my feet. Come January, Pneumonia came back again, but this time, it wasn't the same as the one I got last year. My doctor, told me that my symptoms seemed familiar and asked me if it would be okay for me to take an HIV test. I said it was okay, but fear filled my mind. All eyes were on me, at least the most important eyes that have been watching over me since birth, my parents. I was so afraid that their biggest fear from me being gay would materialize. Then came the results... I'M HIV POSITIVE.


2 weeks in the hospital took a toll in me. Nights of crying under my sheets (so that my parents wouldn't see) and days of watching my parents hide their sadness were torture. I love my parents... their support and love are a few of the things that keeps me going. 


I'm Aqua and this is my life with HIV. Take a dive with me...